Children of the Corn
There's a neighbor of ours who was reluctant to meet us. We'd be out in the yard doing stuff and I knew he had seen us, but there was no attempt at an introduction. Instead, he has dispatched his pre-teen child on us. Almost on a daily basis the pre-teen stands at the beginning of our driveway looking to see if we are out of the house. Sometimes she even comes down the driveway and searches our backyard to see if we're in some obscure portion of our property. Her conversation revolves around hamsters, school, rilly-cool movies, what kinds of profanity her friends say to their parents, and various boys she makes fun of at school. There is nothing more interesting than listening to this endless minutae. So now we look out the windows first to see if the coast is clear before venturing outside. I've even caught myself hiding out of sight at the slightest hint of her voice off in the distance. She makes her rounds in the neighborhood and knows everybody's business. The peace and solace I had hoped home ownership would offer has vanished.....

Oh well, I guess it's off to Home Depot to find the pieces to building a really big wall.