Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Read Reply
People in my office tend to ignore emails sent to them by coworkers - even, and most importantly, ones having to do with internal business. That is why I check the Read Reply option for each email I send to a coworker. I need accountability. I need to know if and when I am being ignored and be able to gauge the length of time between the known receipt of my message and a returned reply by the perp. It's interesting that the Read Reply has become a tool in the service of identifying incidents of being dissed. Imagine other moments when a Read Reply could be useful. Take Caller ID for example. Now I must admit I am a consistent call screener. I'll take a look at the number and make a determination whether to answer or not. Even if the call is from friend or family, it has been not infrequent when I have chosen to continue with what I have been doing rather than interrupt that and take the call. So knowing how I am with Caller ID, I think it's ripe for the establishment of Read Reply style accountability. Simply speaking, all Caller ID displays could be outfitted with some detection device that could sense the moment that it was being studied and analyzed by the Caller ID owner. A signal could be alerted back to the call originator which would inform them that indeed their call was recognized by the receiving party, but had been nevertheless ignored. You know, come to think of it, Caller ID should also have the ability for the caller to send a text message to the display screen. So if you get the Read Reply alert and know you are being ignored you could send a text message that says "F*ck You, pick up the muthafukkin phone!" (or something less inflammatory) and the message shows up on the Caller ID display. Thinking about this further, phones should be outfitted with some sort of signal burst button that launches a salvo of the most horrendous chirps, buzzes, and other annoying sounds back at the call originator who ordinarily is hearing the ringing tone - waiting for the call to be picked up. Thus, if someone is ignoring a call, and then is discovered to be ignoring a call and is subsequently called on it, the person can choose to enact sonic countermeasures against the call originator - unleashing the horrid sounds with the desire that these torments compel the call originator to hang up.

Methinks I have said more than enough for people to begin questioning my sanity (if they had not already done so)......


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