Drop the Phone and Back Away from the TV
I'm real tempted one of these weekend mornings to call up C-SPAN and give America a piece of my mind. Most weekends I have real trouble sleeping in, either because I'm so used to waking up early every morning anyways, or the cat meows like crazy to be let outside, or I'm suffering a shamespiral or thinking about work, etc etc. Anyways, I get up early on the weekends and I find myself watching the call-in news discussion show that's on C-SPAN. All sorts of nuts from around the country (especially weirdos from the West coast - where it must be like 4:30AM for them - who watches C-SPAN at that time???) call in and give their $0.02 worth. One morning the topic was about baby boomers and one author's belief that they are truly the greater of all "Greatest Generations". Feeling my Gen X nerves rankling at the very thought of such an assertion I sallied forth to get the phone and dial. Funny though, I thought my wife would get a kick out of me telling her that I called C-SPAN, so I turned on the VCR too to record the moment (in the event that I got through and on the air).

Funnily enough, she woke up at this time and came downstairs, only to witness me standing there by the living room window, with phone & VCR remote in hand, attempting to get through the line.
"Uh, I was just uh...calling C-SPAN, honey..."

Someday I will be successful. And then all of America will be talking.