I have been at war with a Mockingbird these past few nights. For some reason this winged devil sits outside my bedroom window and bursts into the most maddening stream of uninterrupted birdsong right around 11PM. The cacophony resembles a horrid Yngwie Malmsteen guitar solo.

So I imagined various solutions - upset that I didn't own a pellet gun, and air horn, or wasn't armed with an arsenal of fireworks and bottle rockets. So I got up out of bed, went outside to the tree where this caterwauling lunatic was perched and shook as many branches as I could until the thing flew away. I sincerely hope the damned thing does not return.