Thursday, February 15, 2007

The Summer Camp Girl
Vice President Cheney's office, to Democrats, is like what summer camp is to twelve year old boys. Its that mythical place where you can claim the most wondrous and fantastic things happen. For instance, a pre-teen boy boasts about meeting such and such girl at summer camp and went all the way or got to third base with her, etc etc. Of course, none of his friends went to that same summer camp so they have no way of verifying said claims. The Summer Camp Girl is hotter than any other girl ever known. She's mature and skilled and surpasses any of the girls back at school. She is the personification of everything the pre-teen boys ever want. Everyone agrees she exists, but no photos are owned, no artifacts/mementos of hers are possessed. She enjoys an exquisite perfection and an ironclad undeniability.

Cheney's office exudes the same mythology. Dems believe all manner of nefariousness goes on in that room, yet no one can provide documented proof. Secrets, plots, and plans are formulated behind closed doors - night and day. It doesn't matter that nobody can say for sure what is truth and what is fiction about the goings on within Cheney's domain. It is the inner sanctum of all that is evil. The hidden vortex of human devilishness. A black hole that exudes no light.

Similarities between Cheney's Office and The Summer Camp Girl mythologies:

Cheney's Office: Halliburton
Summer Camp Girl: Holly Burton

Cheney's Office: Valerie Plame
Summer Camp Girl: Valerie Playme

Cheney's Office: Meeting with oil executives
Summer Camp Girl: A totally hot time where she asked to rub suntan oil on her

Cheney's Office: Project for a New American Century
Summer Camp Girl: Project at the Crafts lodge and making out behind the kiln

Cheney's Office: Reviewed torture memo with Attorney Gen. Alberto Gonzalez
Summer Camp Girl: Can't say for sure, but I think it was a Dirty Sanchez

Cheney's Office: Met with Neocons on Iraq
Summer Camp Girl: Saw her knockers behind a rock


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