Asstrology
From RUETERS:

Blind German psychic Ulf Buck (L) feels the buttocks of a client during a session in his study room in the northern German village of Meldorf near Hamburg July 15, 2002. Clairvoyant Buck claims that people's backsides display lines like those on the palm of the hand, which can be read to reveal much about their character and destiny.

No joke. Your ass says a lot about you. The application of Rumpology can be a window into your soul....