Terroristaville
(Sung to the tune of Buffet's "Margaritaville") Song courtesy of Happy Fun Pundit.

I got reservations
For a US vacation
American Airlines to Miami Beach
Got plastique in my footwear
Can't wait till I get there
With seventy virgins I'm looking to breach

Wasting away again in Terroristaville
Searching for some matches or maybe a Bic
Some people claim that there's Osama to blame
Cause y'know, he insists on short wicks.

Soon the "kaboom" comes
But first get a Coke from
The complimentary beverage cart
Experience wind shear
Spill Coke on my fuse-gear
Hopin' that won't make it harder to start

Wastin' away again in federal custody
Share my cell with some huge cracker named "Zed"
Some people claim bein' the bitch ain't no shame
But I think that I'd rather be dead.

My Zippo got detained
But luckily I retained
A book of matches from Soggy Joe's Bar
I'm gropin' and fishin'
Trying to get some ignition
Tray table and seat back don't let me get far

Wish I was locked away down in Guantanamo
Soakin' up the sunshine and fine Yankee chow
Some people claim that there's "root causes" to blame
But I think they won't root for me now.

Torn out of my seating
Receiving a beating
Little old ladies are kicking my ass
Being bodily restrained
Experiencing great pain
Suspecting that I should've travelled first class.

Wasting away again in Terroristaville
Allah, why did you treat me so bad?
Some people claim that there's Al Qaeda to blame,
But I think I just suck at jihad.


Yes, and some people claim that there's Al Qaeda to blame.
All I know, I'm really bad at jihad.