Yes, I Do Like Explosions
Video clips a'plenty found here. Buildings, smokestacks, bridges, etc all being demolished. The one showing Fulton County Stadium imploding is cool.

GraniteRants Short Fiction: Jagged Gritting Teeth (Part II)

Sheriff Earl Warren slopped around the golden egg yolk with a piece of Texas Toast. Damn! Another broken egg shell. This was not turning out to be a great breakfast. Minutes before, he had gotten his uniform shirtsleeves smudged with some apricot preserves left on the Formica countertop. Don't they wipe the counters in between serving customers? You would think they would, wouldn'tcha? But for all the inconvenience, Earl wasn't going to start eating someplace else. Afterall, this kind of thing was par for the course at the Iron Griddle, and it was the best place in town to maintain visibility, keep smiling with the townfolks, and secure another 2 year term as Sheriff come election time. Visibility and name recognition, those were the keys. He was nicknamed "Chief Justice" and was often kidded as to what he may really know about the Grassy Knoll and all. His response was always the same, "Got no time for pondering conspiracies when there's plenty of Oswalds to catch." People would chuckle, give him a hat tip for his service to community, and mark their ballots where his name was printed every 2 years. Yes, they would say. He does a damn fine job rounding up them Oswalds.

"Hell, someone needs to take a moppin' to the mensroom. Leaky fixtures flooding the damn floor in there. Why do we continue to eat in this dump, Earl?" thundered the flannel shirted Bunyan of a man as he sat down on the circular barstool, the kind only to be found in greasy spoon diners and Norman Rockwell paintings. Though truthfully, it was pretty clear that this particular diner would not have wound up on the cover of the Saturday Evening Post. No freckled faced runaways with the hobo bandana on a stick would ever step foot in the Iron Griddle. Not with Chief Justice Earl Warren parked on one of them stools.

"You know why! It's cheap and you can't beat the chili dogs come lunchtime, " replied the Sheriff, who after having said that began to immediately plan his next meal. Would a chili dog hit the spot? Don't know, have to think about that one.

"Yeah, you're right about that. Can't beat them chili dogs. Though they could use a bit more spicin' to them. Cayenne, some Tabasco or something. I do like the liquid smoke flavorin' though. Real sophisticated like," nodded the hulk, "Think it needs more spicin', Earl?"

"Everything needs a bit more spicin', and saltin', and such. I got no tastebuds left. Too many hard whiskeys and Cee-gars. But what's life without those things, right Walt?" reflected the middle aged Law Enforcer. Yessir he hadn't paid much attention to his health, but why change now? No way to say no to the Chili Dogs, salt, and "spicin" as Walt called it. Walt was the maestro with the smoker and the barbecue. He would preach for hours on the magical qualities of oak, hickory, apple wood and the wonderful tastes that resulted. He was known for his Tri-Tip. Smoked for hours, rubbed in a secret blend of peppers and spices (Walt never mentioned that the secret was in two kinds of black pepper - fine ground for flavoring all the way through and coarse ground for flavoring the char). "You going to be grilling this weekend?" asked the Sheriff.

"I'd like to Earl, but not with that tire fire burning down at Rusty's. Can't have a barbecue if all you smell is burning Firestone. We'd have to move my rig upcountry. And that may be impossible since my trailer needs some brake work. I'd say the barbecuin' is on hold until that mess burns itself out. By the way, how's your investigation coming along into that? I'm surprised you guys haven't thrown the book at that snaggle-toothed circus freak! I mean, what the hell was he doing standing on top of a pile of burning tires anyways? Sounds really fishy' to me and I should know being a Bassmaster's Cham-pine and all..."

"Yeah, yeah Walt. We're still checking out that Oswald. Can't really talk about the investigation though. You know Walt, protocol and all," offered the Sheriff. Keeping professional and with integrity also ensured those electoral wins.

"I hear you, Earl. But that guy is spooky. Fruitcake. Those jagged teeth alone are enough to know he's a nut. And guilty too. Rusty said when he smelt the fire, he saw that guy standing atop the smokin' pile. His arms were outstretched and he wasn't a-movin'. Even with the smoke floatin' all around him and the flames reachin' higher even. Like he was in some kind of trance or something. Rusty said it was a Jesus Christ pose. All the more reason to lock him up, I say. No place for a blasphemer in these parts, " authoritated Walt, the big man; a trucker - built like a Peterbilt.

"I know, I know Walt. The Department is investigating. Don't think that we're not. Odd things have explanations to them. Even a crazy guy with messed up teeth standing atop a pile of smoking tires. Whatever it is, we'll find out what we can about him and what he was doing standing fearless in amongst all that toxic smoke. The Chief Justice gives you his word!"

And with that Sheriff Earl Warren nodded his head, paid up his bill, said his good-byes, and exited the Iron Griddle. Yes, he thought to himself, a chili dog would taste mighty nice at lunch.

Quote of the Day:
In the end, more than freedom, they wanted security. They wanted a comfortable life, and they lost it all – security, comfort, and freedom. When the Athenians finally wanted not to give to society but for society to give to them, when the freedom they wished for most was freedom from responsibility, then Athens ceased to be free and was never free again.

- Edward Gibbon - History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire

Beat the Freak
Whacko Jacko needs to be locked up. And now!

Quote of the Day
"My disagreement with the peace-at-any-price men, the ultrapacifists, is not in the least because they favor peace. I object to them, first, because they have proved themselves futile and impotent in working for peace, and second, because they commit what is not merely the capital error but the crime against morality of failing to uphold righteousness as the all-important end toward which we should strive ... I have as little sympathy for them as they have for the men who deify mere brutal force, who insist that power justifies wrongdoing, and who declare that there is no such thing as international morality. But the ultra-pacifists really play into the hands of these men. To condemn equally might which backs right and might which overthrows right is to render positive service to wrong-doers ... To denounce the nation that wages war in self-defense, or from a generous desire to relieve the oppressed, in the same terms in which we denounce war waged in a spirit of greed or wanton folly stands on a par with denouncing equally a murderer and the policeman who, at peril of his life and by force of arms, arrests the murderer. In each case the denunciation denotes not loftiness of soul but weakness both of mind and morals."
-Theodore Roosevelt

Fox News - Raw & Uncut
Shepard Smith is Fox News' worst anchor. There is not one broadcast where he doesn't screw up. Garbled lines, missing words, mangled phrases, etc. This one is a beaut.

"No Maam, I Asked You if You Would Care for Some PEANUTS......."
Well here's a fun way to experience air travel. Completely Naked.

Business Casual(ty)
Ever notice at work how people dress down more than normal on rainy/stormy/snowy days? I'm sure people would show up in their sweats or pajamas if allowed. I almost walked out the door wearing my comfortable pair of Zubas, but quickly realized my mistake and donned a more respectable business slack.

In a Previous Life, James Carville Must Have Been Editor in Chief
Mudslinging is nothing new. The Connecticut Courant warned of a Thomas Jefferson Presidency (1800), "there is scarcely a possibility that we shall escape a Civil War. Murder, robbery, rape, adultery, and incest will be openly taught and practiced."

Wacky Qaddafi
The sly bastard is sure doing a great job remaking his image. Libya has just hosted its first ever international beauty pageant. The winner receives a one-way first class trip to Scotland via Pan Am Airlines.....

Remind Me to Get These Wooden Teeth Replaced

Which Founding Father Are You?