Thursday, July 25, 2002

Forget Doom or Quake:
This is what any Palestinian child would want as a gift for Ramadan

Its not healthy to live around a lot of people. I'd say ants are probably best at living with numerous others of its own species. But those things are just drones anyway. Picking up bits of leaves and organic material. Moving them around from point to point. Maneuvering feelers and antennae. We as humans are not built that way. We have to ask permission first before using our (feelers and antennae). We get stressed when the neighbor's TV volume is blasting too loud. We'd prefer not to smell the odors emanating from their Ronco rotisserie appliance.

The antidote? Rural space

Wednesday, July 24, 2002

Shock the Monkey
The mysterious MonkeyMan is on the loose again in India. Click here to read about the latest terror attack by this unknown ape-like creature.


Blind German psychic Ulf Buck (L) feels the buttocks of a client during a session in his study room in the northern German village of Meldorf near Hamburg July 15, 2002. Clairvoyant Buck claims that people's backsides display lines like those on the palm of the hand, which can be read to reveal much about their character and destiny.

No joke. Your ass says a lot about you. The application of Rumpology can be a window into your soul....

Tuesday, July 23, 2002

Wanta Fanta? Don't You Wanta?
I'm going to need to start drinking more Fanta. The jiggy jingle alone makes me thirsty...

Thursday, July 18, 2002

I have been at war with a Mockingbird these past few nights. For some reason this winged devil sits outside my bedroom window and bursts into the most maddening stream of uninterrupted birdsong right around 11PM. The cacophony resembles a horrid Yngwie Malmsteen guitar solo.

So I imagined various solutions - upset that I didn't own a pellet gun, and air horn, or wasn't armed with an arsenal of fireworks and bottle rockets. So I got up out of bed, went outside to the tree where this caterwauling lunatic was perched and shook as many branches as I could until the thing flew away. I sincerely hope the damned thing does not return.

Monday, July 15, 2002

Hiking Update: Mt. Jefferson Expedition Sellers & Morgan hit the hills again and ascended Mt. Jefferson in the Presidentials. New England's 3rd highest mountain (5716') was made by way of the challenging but striking Castle Trail. This path runs up and over the narrow and craggy Castellated Ridge to the rocky summit cone of Jefferson. (Great hiking surface!) A long and tiring day but well worth it. This was Vicki's #11 4000' footer in NH. A trip report can be found here.

Wednesday, July 10, 2002

More photographic evidence of Arafat's bizarre "Baby Wipes" fetish. Look for the blue box in the photos.

PATHETIC! Baseball is dead and done. They should freeze the game along with Ted's body. Bury it. What a farce. The Fox coverage was a joke. Microphones didn't work. Commercial breaks cut in right in the middle of a Ted Williams moment of silence. Absolutely no mention of Jack Buck or Darryl Kile's death and remembrances. And what was the deal with that ridiculous national anthem? Whoever Anastasia is, she should be tarred, feathered, and deported. Anyone who says - "...and the rockets gave glare....the bombs bursting in air.....gave truth through the night.......", obviously is not an American citizen. Man, it was as if she was an al-Queda mole inserted into the opening ceremonies of our National Pastime whose purpose was to mock and humiliate us. Man, Frozen Ted Williams for fuck's sake!!!!!!

That's it. Forget baseball. They call the game after 11 innings because the two managers played it as if the game was a T-Ball match run by the Jaycees down at your local park. Everyone wins! Nobody loses! We play 11 innings and then call it a tie. What a crock! Fucking Frozen Ted Williams is rolling in his cryonics tank right now. The game is dead and done. Next up: A players strike. Thanks for watching folks. Thanks for your money. Thanks for making us millionaires.

Tuesday, July 09, 2002

Baseball is so cool. Tonight is the All-Star Game. Derek Lowe will kick some NL ass. In celebration of the Midsummer Classic, here's a great story about the wackiness of minor league ball that conjures up the spirit of Bull Durham

Monday, July 08, 2002

Arafat's Clean Bum
In what must also be included in the overstuffed filing cabinet of famous celebrity festishes (Whacko Jacko and little boys; Dick Morris and toe-sucking, Billy Bob Thornton and a whole barnyard of creepy sleazy stuff..) there are now multiple sightings of Arafat's curious obsession: Baby Wipes.
Go here and here for the photographic evidence.