Thursday, August 29, 2002

Saddam has no idea what we have in store for him. After we drop a few of these puppies around Baghdad, his ability to download porn, order viagara online, or respond to emails that offer an herbal method to safely add inches to his unit will be utterly wiped out.

Wednesday, August 28, 2002

Airport Insecurity
Glad to see that our tireless hunt to root out the next potential Richard Reid, aka The ShoeBomber continues.

Another great Lileks screed.

Funny Money: Part II
Having just ranted about the US Quarters, I decided to throw my hat into the ring and suggest more appropriate designs that reflect what impressions people actually have of each state:

Alabama: A group picture of the band Alabama
Alaska: The Exxon Valdez listing to one side and oil pouring out. Maybe a beached whale washed up on the shore in the background
Arkansas: Clinton (You knew it had to be) in the backseat of a State Trooper vehicle being serviced by Jennifer Flowers and Paula Jones
California: Overhead shot of OJ's low-speed chase in the White Bronco
OJ putting on the leather glove with that goofy grin
Colorado: Wildfires burning out of control
Connecticut: The Foxwoods Casino
A picture of the Welcome to NY sign you see as you leave the state on I-95
Florida: A scene of a Perkin's Restaurant car lot filled with parked Lincoln Continentals
Georgia: Ted Turner's smiling mug
Idaho: Either the Looney Toons logo or a picture of a Cuckoo Clock
Illinois: Bueller? ....Bueller? (As spoken by Ben Stein)
Louisiana: Any scene from Girls Gone Wild
Nevada: Sigfried & Roy
New Hampshire: An Interstate Liquor Store peddling Sweepstakes Tickets
New Jersey: A Mount Rushmore-esque scape with the busts of Jon Bon Jovi, Richie Sambora & Bruce Springsteen overlooking Atlantic City
North & South Carolina: A shared coin showing Sens. Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond with the caption Celebrating Dixie's Prehistoric Monuments printed on garland overhead
Utah: Two well dressed men in dark suits ringing a doorbell.....
Vermont: A Civil Union
Wisconsin: A Packers Cheesehead roasting a bratwurst on a hibachi outside of "Frozen Lambeau Field"

Tuesday, August 27, 2002

Funny Money
Slate has an interesting take on the 50 US States' quarters. Personally, I think NH's is the best. It makes sense. Louisiana's quarter is foolish, and Ohio's makes no sense whatsoever because most people do not associate the Wright Brothers with the Buckeye State. Furthermore, that image of an astronaut (John Glenn I presume) looks more like a mummy. Why didn't they put up a picture of derelict industry or perhaps a scene of Cleveland's legendary polluted Cuyahoga River catching on fire? Such a wasted opportunity.....

Monday, August 26, 2002

Continent Sized Value Meals
McDonalds has riled some people up by introducing the new McAfrika burger to restaurants in Norway. (Go here to view this fast food delicacy in glorious Technicolor). Apparently the burger is based on an authentic African recipe, but people with no sense of humor or taste have objected to naming a burger after a region known for famine and starvation.

Thursday, August 22, 2002

Satanic Versus ._____
High school team mascots are pretty ridiculous to begin with. Hanover High School (mine) was known as the "Marauders". A fine SAT word that not everybody knew what it meant and underscored our reputation as a school of snobs. This school in North Dakota has decided to do away with their name the "Satans". Oh well, no big loss. The Evil Winged One won't feel bad that he's no longer being venerated in North Dakota. Afterall, he's currently a star with the Buffalo Sabres in the NHL.

Wednesday, August 21, 2002

Stuffy Intellectual Crap
For those of you who get turned on to big concepts and such, read this. Sometimes I disagree with someone and the disagreement goes way beyond the usual Left/Right, Liberal/Conservative, Republican/Democrat divides. The debate tends to get bogged down over basic precepts that were automatically assumed (by myself) to be shared. In a sense, the person was singing from an entirely different songsheet.

9-11 has exposed this to some extent. Leftists who normally were not so patriotic suddenly found themselves pro-war and hungry for action against the Islamofascists. These are not the people I'm talking about. Instead, The people who are fundamentally different - who are singing from an entirely different songsheet (and not one marked by Treble Clefs, codas, etc - but of an entirely different language) are who I am concerned about. They are the ones who see America as the enemy, and general sympathize with Al Queda, Palestinian suicide bombers, and mouth the tell-tale phrases "root causes", "cycle of violence", etc, etc. Hint: You can usually spot these people if they are admirers of Noam Chomsky, Paul Krugman, Robert Fisk et. al

Go read the article and also the Fonte article that is the basis for all of this. It is good and explains a lot.

Tuesday, August 20, 2002

Wacky Qaddafi
Back in my UNH days, every time I would drive home to see my folks I would have to take Rt 4 from Durham to Concord. This is a drab road loaded with antique shops, massive gas stations, and bizarro displays of lawn ornamentation. One I distinctly remember was located in Epsom, NH and involved the placement of a massive wooden horse in front of a guy's barn. A sign on the homemade statue flatly proclaimed: The UN is a Trojan Horse in America.

I used to laugh at this guy's paranoia. I used to think he was one who held fast to the fear of "Black Helicopters". But now, having grown older and wiser, I think the guy was on to something - especially after reading this latest announcement of lunacy by the increasingly irrelevant international organization headquartered along the banks of NYC's East River....

Velvet Elvis
In this summer of child abductions, baseball strikes, West Nile infections, and the question whether Lance Bass will ever pay for his trip on a Russian rocket, one thing will always endure - The King.

Monday, August 19, 2002

Mad King Herold
This guy is a complete moron. I had an Introduction to Macroeconomics class with him. Needless to say 20 minutes of each hour involved economics and the rest of the time involved his rantings off subject. The guy refuses to admit he's balding and combs his long hair from one side over his bald spot to the other. He is a joke on campus and the resident village idiot. Needless to say, I had many arguments with him after class as I would not allow his lunacy to go unchecked. It amuses me even more to think how this fool has been embraced by the hate-America left

Friday, August 09, 2002

When is Israel not Real?
Little Green Footballs uncovers the scoop about a few certain German automobile manufacturers who have an interesting take on Middle Eastern geography. See if you can spot the oddities. (As Alice said, "Curiouser and curiouser....")

Thursday, August 08, 2002

Blogging is Fun
I've added a feature for posting comments. Go nuts, people.

I Have Major Issues!
Uh oh, time for a visit to the loony bin...


-- Click Here To Take The Test --

Wednesday, August 07, 2002

Latest Update:
James Lileks provides his commentary. As usual, it is brilliant. Please read.

I was mistaken about the "Rushthroat" video. It is not the Daniel Pearl one they talk about, but another one of a Russian soldier being decapitated by Chechen rebels.

Further Update: The conversation just got more chilling. If you want to know why 9/11 happened, you need to know the attitude and values of our enemies.

They Don't All Hate Us
Very good Iranian student website that details news from around the world regarding Iran. There's a lot going on here that does not make it on the 6:00 news. While Dan Blather and Tom Broke-jaw ignore this, real change is afoot in Iran. The majority of the population is young, educated, unemployed, and desiring of change. They by and large are pro-western and pro-US. They only want what we want. Freedom.

Tuesday, August 06, 2002

Readers of this blog may note I post a lot about the War against Islamofacism. That's because the Evil that is out there is big and it's everywhere. The battle against this tyranny is no different than that which was waged against Nazism and Communism -the other great mindfucks of our time. If you need further convincing what we're up against, enjoy this webchat of posts from jihad inspired teens professing their love of weapons, killing, and their delight over the Daniel Pearl slaying video (casually described as "Rushthroat").

Get angry. Don't get complacent.

Monday, August 05, 2002

Bunker Buster
A Vietnamese American serves up a can of whoop-ass against the Al-Queda nutters.

(Sung to the tune of Buffet's "Margaritaville") Song courtesy of Happy Fun Pundit.

I got reservations
For a US vacation
American Airlines to Miami Beach
Got plastique in my footwear
Can't wait till I get there
With seventy virgins I'm looking to breach

Wasting away again in Terroristaville
Searching for some matches or maybe a Bic
Some people claim that there's Osama to blame
Cause y'know, he insists on short wicks.

Soon the "kaboom" comes
But first get a Coke from
The complimentary beverage cart
Experience wind shear
Spill Coke on my fuse-gear
Hopin' that won't make it harder to start

Wastin' away again in federal custody
Share my cell with some huge cracker named "Zed"
Some people claim bein' the bitch ain't no shame
But I think that I'd rather be dead.

My Zippo got detained
But luckily I retained
A book of matches from Soggy Joe's Bar
I'm gropin' and fishin'
Trying to get some ignition
Tray table and seat back don't let me get far

Wish I was locked away down in Guantanamo
Soakin' up the sunshine and fine Yankee chow
Some people claim that there's "root causes" to blame
But I think they won't root for me now.

Torn out of my seating
Receiving a beating
Little old ladies are kicking my ass
Being bodily restrained
Experiencing great pain
Suspecting that I should've travelled first class.

Wasting away again in Terroristaville
Allah, why did you treat me so bad?
Some people claim that there's Al Qaeda to blame,
But I think I just suck at jihad.

Yes, and some people claim that there's Al Qaeda to blame.
All I know, I'm really bad at jihad.

Ode to Joy
These guys get it.
To bad they weren't up there sooner, they would have seen this at dawn...

Friday, August 02, 2002

Song of the Week:
MAMAS, don't let your children grow up to be fragments
Don't let 'em pack Semtex or blow up old trucks
Let 'em be doctors and lawyers and such
Hamas, don't let your babies grow up to be shrapnel
'Cos they'll never stay whole and they're always apart,
Even with someone they love

Courtesy of Tim Blair.