New American FaceDuring the last Blogger Brew, I stirred the coals with my proposed theory that teenage girls today exhibit what I have termed "The New American Face". My observations lead me to believe that teenage girls are proceeding through the next stages of evolution in matters of facial bone structure and features. I said that the hallmarks of the New American Face are that girls seem to have smaller, rounder heads with flatter faces, fuller cheeks, and eyes appear to be further apart than before.
Like all groundbreaking theories, my suggestions produced a storm of protest. Evidence! Evidence! - they shouted. Indeed, I offered up
Tara Reid as Exhibit A, followed up by
Lindsay Lohan and the entire female cast of
Laguna Beach. Amazingly, my drinking companions felt that the entire theory was
preposterous! Actually, all except
Contagious - she bravely chalked herself up as a believer in the theory and its cosmos-reordering premise.
Anyhow, the detractors countered with the notion that the new teenage look is due to increased attention paid to things like hair, makeup, eyebrow plucking, and tanning. They said that today's teenage girls are just way more into a higher order of fashion and grooming than before - and that the New American Face is simply a trick of the light, so to speak.
Well,
Kreblog has produced startling, groundbreaking, and dare I say debate-ending evidence in favor of the New American Face theory. Indeed, as the headline
to this article reveals, Science has discovered that the human face
is shrinking!
When the world is all abuzz about the changing physiology of the female face, let 'em know that you first heard it from
GraniteRants